Quick updates

Luckily I got to leave work early today :D(flexing time b/c I'll need to work overtime next week ==") I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I don't have anything big planned, but I do plan on making some Christmas cards tomorrow. Bought some craft supplies during the week... hahaha it was such a struggle stopping myself from making anything during the week.

Hopefully nothing will distract me from my plans. And hopefully the cards won't turn out ugly LOL

Anyways, a Psalm I would like to share:

Keep me safe, O God,

for in you I take refuge.

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing."

..........

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16

It's such a frustrating and painful process to go through when God transforms you. I want to and is trying but my natural sinful desire wrestles me to the ground. It is so so hard to do. But my God is an all powerful God who makes the impossible possible. There is so much comfort just knowing who He is even when I fail Him. Again, He is not done with me and He is not done with you!

Fall Challenge: Day 28

.......slacked off.... hehe

For the past few days, I'm thankful for:

The hope that God's work will be complete in me despite my many failures and imperfections.

"...But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me... For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9- 10

Fall Challenge: Day 24

Today I am thankful for...

1) The work God started and that He will complete His work

2) I have a God who hears me when I call

:)

Fall Challenge: Day 22

This challenge can get difficult on some days... on days when your patience wears thin and things just pile up at work. Or when clients just don't get it, is being rude, co-workers just being themselves.

Truly loving people is so hard. Sometimes I just want to quit everything (not just talking about work here) and run away to the East Coast or something. Selfish. Hmmm but how to be selfless even in the most tiring, challenging, and while in a constant internal battle?

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let you gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 4:4-8

Prayer.

Today I am thankful for the unbreakable promises of the almighty God!

Fall Challenge: Day 19

Today I am thankful for...

1) I can finish my gerontology option with just 1 more course instead of 2 the coming winter term :) I knew I didn't have to worry and that God would sort things out. But I still chose to freak out for a few weeks and subconsciously for a few months.... But thank God for answering my prayers!

2) A night of fellowship through sharing and prayer in the name of Christ.

**My God is so great! So strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do!**

Fall Challenge: Day 17

Today I am thankful for...

1) Friends like JL who goes an extra mile to help me out all the time. Makes me think harder about how I can serve other people and how little I gave myself up to serve in the past. Thank-you!

Fall Challenge: Day 15 & 16

Today I am thankful for...

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." -- 1 Peter 2:9-10

Fall Challenge: Day 14

Opps... been very busy the past ~5 days and forgot to write them down hahaa

This week I'm thankful for...

1) J&R as they glorify God in their marriage (congrats you two :D)

2) Strength to push through all the tasks of the day

3) The Holy Spirit's gentle guidance in conflicts

4) Joy and peace despite challenges

:)

Joys of the unknown

I've been worrying about whether or not I can graduate since July when I found out that I missed the pre-enrollement and heard from my classmates that many of them had trouble getting into Rec 455. That course is sooo important, I cannot graduate without it. There's a dumb glitch on Quest, that's why a lot of students couldn't get in the course.

I later find out that I need Geron 210 and Geron 218 to fulfill my gerontology option that I've been doing through out my university years. Geron 218 is only offered at loo in the Fall term so I'll need to do an online course with Western that's equivalent to this course. Hopefully nothing messes up in the registration process. Geron 210 on the other hand... I need Bio 130... which I did not take. I'm in rec man! Who needs bio?! So hopefully I can get an override with that too D:

Good news is that I later got in Rec 455 *sigh* at least I can graduate. Though I still would love to finish my gerontology option since I'm only 2 courses away!

Please help pray that I can get in the course :D

Lol who knew... ==" that my very last term is the most troublesome hahaha

Fall Challenge: Day 9

Today I am thankful for...

1) I avoided a car collision (yesterday)... I'm just slowly realizing how close it was! It was too close.

2) That peace is mine because Jesus have overcome the troubles of the world!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you... Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -- John 14: 27

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -- John 16: 33

Fall Challenge: Day 8

Today I am thankful for...

1) a restful day with family

2) the gorgeous weather and the beautiful landscape around the park

"Praise be to the LORD God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds. Praise be to his glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and Amen" -- Psalms 72:18-19

Fall Challenge: Day 7

Today I am thankful for...

1) (Once again) the timely message/ passage I needed to hear... I totally forgot about this one

"⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 4:4-6

Fall Challenge: Day 6

Today I am thankful for...

1) The beautiful weather and sunshine

Fall Challenge: Day 5

Today I am thankful for...

1) the works being done in the fellowship

2) the time spent with brothers and sisters tonight

3) the wonderful Thanksgiving meal at ML's :)

Fall Challenge: Day 3 & 4

Today (& yesterday) I am thankful for...

1) The time spent with JV, reading the Word and praying together :)

2) The strength to power through the day despite lack of proper rest and sickness

3) God's grace and for His active work

4) God's words and encouragement spoken at the right time

5) That KG is feeling better now and no further issues

6) A change in attitude at work

Today and yesterday... very draining ==" But thank God He is present everywhere!

Fall Challenge: Day 2

Opps a little late, but...

Today I am thankful for...

1) The reminder of the blessings God showered upon me

2) The reminder that my identity is in Christ alone

3) The Holy Spirit who constantly prays on my behalf

4) The strength to power through the day despite the lack of proper rest

5) God who takes action first all the time

6) and the wonderful and delicious seafood dinner at home :P

Fall Challenge: Day 1

The past few months were pretty tough... especially with the change of where I am... going on coop and living with my family again. Many will agree that you get used to living away from home and when you need to go back home, it's really tough ==" Spiritually, things haven't been going too well. But I know that this is the time I most need God. I didn't want to talk to Him or even read His words. Even though I don't naturally want to read the Bible, I will read till I take delight and can't stop reading His words again. There are many distractions going around me and in my head as well. They make me go crazy D: So after talking to some people... I was challenged to think about things to be thankful for everyday and not think of the troubles that surround me until it is time for my daily prayers. I plan to leave things I'm thankful for here so whoever cares to read can be thankful with me :)

Today I'm thankful for...

1) Mom making me apple soup and saved me some dinner (I had to work late today)

2) Getting to work and back home safely (I drove today)

3) The people I talked to/ who sent me an email today. You guys are life savers!

Thank-you God!

忍

"... Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?'"- John 21:15

A reason for my constant struggle with sin is that I don't truly love Jesus. As much as I claim to love Him, I actually don't. But He still loves me with much patience. He is so so patient with me, teaching and showing me more and more how much He loves me.

"愛 是 恆 久 忍 耐..."- 歌 林 多 前 書 13:4

"Love is patient..."- 1 Corinthians 13:4

忍- A dagger pierced into the heart. Not just an ordinary dagger, but a dagger with a hook.

The agony He feels when I turn away, yet He will continue to 忍. This is how much He loves me.

The Lord provides at ALL times

So I have yet to do my part in offering since the end of the past co-op term. Budget been a bit tight. Family needing some, school took 2 armfuls, rent, food, travelling between home and the loo. I was honestly wondering where I can get the money to put into offering. But God literally provides :D

In the past week when I was still wondering how I should save up, God blessed me with some here and there.

1) My mom's cousin randomly gave me red pocket money

2) Insurance finally gave in and gave me back the money I had to claim and complain for 3 times

3) I potentially have someone subletting my room just for the month of August so the rent I already paid does not go to waste (I'm out of here by July 23rd *brap brap*)

It's kind of funny if you think about it because God is providing so I can give back to Him LOL. But hey, He provided when I didn't know what to do.

Thanks be to God forever!

Be watchful at all times

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" - Matthew 26: 41

Basically, if you're not watchful you're screwed.

A few weeks ago at Sunday School, we were talking about watchfulness and why we really need to know our weaknesses. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." - 1 Peter 5: 8-9'

I was not watchful about a week ago and fell right for it. The interesting thing was that it didn't end after I fell for it. What happen was I kept ruminating on what I did. I think the feelings and thoughts were much worse than what I actually did (not that the action was insignificant). I felt so horrible that whole day I wanted to cover my face... so shameful, full of guilt... I was absolutely disgusted at myself... couldn't even stand looking at myself in the mirror. There were also a lot of nasty words thrown at me =(

But thank God for His grace and mercy! He stopped me from thinking about these things but to give thanks and praise Him for the ultimate sacrifice on the cross and to repent immediately. He also reminded me of our walk together and how far we've gone together. I completely forgot how much I am worth to Him who gives life! Those nasty words faded as I start to remember that only His words matters.

And then, the Sunday School material made sense. There are 3 enemies: The Devil (quick attack/ manipulation), the World (subtle manipulation), and the Self (sinful nature/ manipulation from within). There were subtle build up from time to time. I think I felt a bit lonely, tired, lazy that day and the Devil came in for the kill... he was waiting. The nasty judgments I throw at myself kept me from seeing God's glory. If you really think about how all that worked together, it's actually quite frightening.

Friends, know your weaknesses well, know what you should/ should not do, and know where you should not go. Be on your guard at all times! Stand firm in faith! The enemy is a sneaky one and you have a weak body. So be watchful at all times!

Jobmine D:

I've never been anxious during the application process before. It seems like this app process is a lot more troublesome... and it's my last one. There really isn't anything that I want to apply to lol. Usually there's at least 2 or 3 jobs that I'm really interested in and the rest I would be at least ok with. This time I'm "mehh" about all of them :S

There are a lot less jobs and the location to interest level just doesn't match this time. I have 1 hour left before jobmine close. I'm still thinking whether to apply to a job in Fergus (??? lol who lives here ???), a job in Ottawa that rejected me 3 times already...jerks (LOL), and one that's borderline Mississauga (this means I have to commute from Scarbaria everyday ==")

There are some really good jobs outside of jobmine, but they don't pay D: WHY?! I'm such a good employee, they really should pay me big bucks at all times LOL!

Fruit of the Spirit vs. The Spirit

So... is it really the fruits that you want or is it The Spirit that you want?

We need to stop wanting just the fruit and start wanting the Spirit!

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature... But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law...But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control... Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit..."

Galatians 5:16-25

A gentle reminder :)

I felt like crap today and things just seemed like they haven't moved. But I knew the one thing I need was to hear the word of the Lord. So I quickly searched on Youtube and for some reason, I wanted to hear specifically from Francis Chan. No idea why. Like he's good, but I don't usually listen to his sermons. Anyways, I found one called "The Holy Spirit and Our Effort", based on 2 Peter 1:5-11. Have a listen if you like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Deuca-kXtnI

The part where he got to "Steadfastness" (endurance + perseverance), he said let's say Jesus walked in right now and let you choose either plan A or B to go into 2010 (sermon was done near end of 2009). Plan A is where everything will go the way you want (ie. good marriage, well paid job, no illness...) but you will not be closer to Jesus... things just stay the same between you and Jesus. Plan B is to go into the new year with steadfastness, it will be hard, but you will be so much closer to Jesus and will come out with strength you've never had.

On hearing this, I felt so much better. Not crappy anymore. Quite in awe of God and filled with thankfulness. The reason for this is because near the end of 2009 (I guess around the same time as when that sermon was preached), I remember telling someone that I want to be closer with Jesus when the new year comes. And 2010 SUCKED HARD! LoL! But, I know with confidence that I have the strength I've never had before and is definitely so much closer to Him :)

Sometimes when I feel like crap, I need a little reminder here and there :P But the ways God gently reminds you is just so uniquely insane :D Crazy how He did it this time!

THANK-YOU JESUS!

Yet another funfilled weekend =D

Annual Food and Drink Fest

This started Friday and I went with my friends on Friday. I've been looking forward to this for a whole month just because I found some coupons (lol! So Asian) and because there will be food sampling, wine/beer tasting, and random free stuff. I've never done thigns like this before so it was very exciting, I felt like I went around the world.

Admission was $15, but I had the coupons that takes $3 off. The sampling tickets were $10/ 12 tickets. And each sample required between 1-5 tickets... depending on how fancy it was supposed to be.

The most delicious item I tried was this French soup (forgot it's name... too busy eating). It had scallops, shrimps, and yes... lobster claws in it :) and is made from 2 different soup base put together when served.

The most disappointing was the Spicy Thai Chicken by McMaster food service. The portion was bigger than most samples but it was just plain spicy and I couldn't taste anything as I was in pain. I should have known better since the caterer was from a school.

Art Crawl

This happens every second Friday of the month and starts at 8pm. The art district of Hamilton (James St. North) showcase new series and themed art works in all their mini galleries. It was similar to the Nuit Blanche, but way smaller in scale. It was fun running around looking at stuff with hippies bwahaha.

There was a series on "Hands" drawn with charcoal. Most of them were blown up drawings of hands of old people so you can really see the veins, wrinkles, and the linings. It sounds really unattractive, but my favourite was one called "Mother". It was an old pair of gentle hands with lots of lining. And it put a smile to my face because it reminded me of all the hard works mothers have to put in to help everyone out in the family.... hence the lining and wrinkles.

On a lighter note, and as many of you may agree, sometimes "art" is just ridiculous. So one of the most ridiculous thing my friends and I overheard was "So what you're saying is that this painting is in constant conversation with this piece of clay." My friend couldn't stand it so he ran outside laughing LOL. So we ended up making fun of some $1200 "art" the rest of the night. We also saw a "trendy guy" with bunny ears on.

Settlers of Catan

I owned. Twice.

Church

I'll make another post on what I learned at the service.

Birthday Party

It was my friend PW's birthday weekend. It was actually his birthday week, thank goodness I only saw him 3/7 days of the week hahaa, I love how he shamelessly promotes his birthday hahaha. I actually love it. So a bunch of us were hanging out. Played some games (Deal, Catan, Bang etc.) It was fun. But I think the best part was the spontaneous worship on the porch. The weather was gorgeous and it was just a perfect setting :) And some people were quietly reading the Word. We ended the night by going to East Side Mario's for their half price appetizers :P

It was a very fun weekend. Haven't had such fun and eventful weekend in a while.

Yea... It was good :)

It was never in our powers

So I walked in on a man watching a Christian show last week and I asked if he was Christian. He said that he's trying to be and wants to get back to it but it has been very difficult for him to follow everything because he always stumbles (ie. forgiving someone 77 times). I wanted to talk to him then, but I think he wanted to watch the show. And thinking that I have the week after to talk to him, it wouldn't matter if I didn't take time to sit down and talk to him more about it.

I was pretty excited to go back to work the on Monday, wanting to look for an opportunity to shed some light on him. Wanting to feel the excitement of sharing the gospel. Wanting to have another "god" story to tell my friends after I spoke with him.

I was bummed out when I found out that he left without notice over the weekend. That feeling sucked. It was short and instant, but it sucked because I knew that I only wanted to speak to him for selfish reasons. It wasn't for God. After that short moment passed, I remembered that it was never/ ever will be in our powers to control when God meets someone.

God is the only one who is and forever will be sovereign over all things.

Psalms 30

1 I will exalt you, LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

2 LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. 3 You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit.

4 Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people; praise his holy name.

5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." 7 LORD, when you favored me, you made my royal mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

8 To you, LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 9 "What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? 10 Hear, LORD, and be merciful to me; LORD, be my help."

11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.

Resting in God

It has come to my attention that I've been too busy doing many Christian things and I can no longer keep up doing all of them. This term I've been involved with prayer meetings, gospel choir practice, choir singing at churches (takes like 4 hours each time), book study, womanhood workshop, fellowship, 2 church services (I've been church hopping), Bible reading, CCF, sharing the gospel with people and I'm sure there's more. What the heck?!

I can't belive I've been doing all of this every week O_O Part of it is because I wanted to try out new things (ie. new form of worship, hence the gospel choir) and part of it is because once I say I'll go do it, I stick to my guns and do it. And also because I want to learn more. But I really need to stop. I can feel God putting up a huge stop sign in front of me when I start wandering to those meeting places; I felt restless and definitely not at peace. I've been getting soooo drained out and need to pass out on my bed for at least 2 hours everyday. At first I didn't know why, but now I know.

It's very easy to start off with working with God and things just slowly turn into earning God.

There was a retreat (I didn't go) at one of the churches I've been attending. And their theme for retreat was Resting in God. So for the entire long weekend, they only had 2 sessions and most of the time was free time for people to quietly rest in God. That includes physically resting (sleeping) and just not doing anything but just rest and enjoy the presence of God. Being physically tired is a sign that you do need to rest. Have enough rest so that you can be refreshed and rejuvenated to continue to work with God. Now I know exactly why the Sabbath is so important. And this should be the point of retreats as well; to get away from the business (we put ourselves through) and just rest so we can be refreshed.

There were many retreats I used to go to, but from experience, I and everyone else always leave retreat more tired than before going. Not trying to bash retreats or anything, but we tend to forget what the point of retreats is in all the excitment of being around friends. The reason I stopped going to retreats is because I know that I'll die from a lack of sleep due to playing too many GAMES.

Another thing, we get busy because we want to learn more. It is true and I'm not going to deny it, learning more about the Word is a good thing and you can definitely get new insights. But are you really enjoying that time or are you just checking items off from your religious to-do list?

Quality quiet time with God is different from CCF, Bible studies, prayer meetings, gospel choir, serving etc. You can't replace dwelling in the presence of God (WOW! How awesome that sounds already!) with CCF gatherings or cell groupsss. It is a 1:1 relationship. You take joy in the complete presence of each other.

God can!

Three weeks ago I witnessed God turning hope on in a man who was determined to "disappear"...

The look on the man's face was so downcast, so solemn, so... hopeless. People wanted him to start one to one intervention the week after, but the whole time he did not want to. There wasn't much I could do at the moment. The only thing I knew to do was pray for God to just turn a bit of hope inside of him on so that at least he won't "disappear" in less than a week.

And within seconds after praying, he asked what he was supposed to do at the intervention. Wait! What?! So... he's agreeing to go? Yup and it was just like that.

Knowing exactly what just happened, I was awestruck. What made my mouth drop even more was when I saw him last week. He was sooOoo bright; the look on his face was different and so were the content of the things he talked about and the tone of his voice.

To be honest, I was quite bitter even after he agreed to go to the intervention --> "Oh swell! He's not going to disappear till the week after! =D" But I later ruled that out because there was no way that God would turn hope on just so the man can do what he used to determine to do.

And it was right to rule that thought out because of how different the man became just after two weeks.

I'm not sure what God prepared for him or when God will go meet with him to touch him. But I know it will definitely be pure amazing =)

On another note, even with these awesome crazy things happening I sometimes forget that God can change my stubborn heart too. I'm not sure if other people forget that as well, but a lot of times I think that God can change everyone else but me. Argh! lol so dumb, but for some reason it totally makes sense when I'm senseless and forget that God can move the immovable.

Stats

I was just looking at the stats for this blog. It's REALLY funny to look at. Especially the "audience" tab. Apparently I have some audience from Iran and Lithuania (???). LOL I had to google Lithuania to figure out where in the world that was haha. Maybe people just stumbled upon my blog when they were searching where they can find some real "coffee + cinnamon buns". haha XD

Crisis Prevention Intervention

So apparently if someone acts out or becomes physically agressive to us at work, we're not allowed to use self-defense (striking back). We're allowed to run for our lives.

:)

Sipping hot chocolate in my pj's while in bed with my candle lit and Christmas lights on is so wonderful.

a new year...

2010 started off absolutely horrible for me. It was just terrible D': Things got better over the months. But the overall grade I'm giving 2010 is "terrible". I have never been in such a state for that length of time before. Never in my life experienced something that saddening. I'm evening rolling my eyes as I'm writing this. It was almost like an identity crisis kind of thing because it was so not me to moan and cry for so many months that hard. I usually like to suck it up and and take things head on and win (hehe >=] ), but with this... I totally got owned itf... hard O_O

Counting down to 2011, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, I was wondered if I would be happy this year...5, 4, 3, 2, 1

As terrible as things were because I welcomed Satan in to make me feel miserable because I was told that I deserved to go through it, God was there. It was not necessary for me to let Satan come in and kill me slowly over the months. But it was necessary for me to experience that incident and to realize God's amazing grace, love, and power.

In the past year, God showed His faithfulness to me and poured out His gifts to me. Everything was plentiful. Now that I take the time to think back, everything God gave really was a taste of heaven :) I AM SOOO THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING!

Coincidentally, a friend came to Hamilton tonight and my house went out for dinner with her. And I secretly celebrated while we enjoyed Indian buffet dinner together. I also ordered a good drink, "Cheetah". It's an Indian beer made specifically for spicy cuisine. Give it a try if you like :)

Anyways, none of the food and drink really mattered. All that mattered was that God faithfully and lovingly guided and took me through the hard hard times.

:)Happy New Year! Cheers!

Don't like (bad) kids

I went to the bank yesterday. As I was waiting in line I saw this girl... probably 5, she was walking around doing her own thing bugging random people. ARGH. She walked up and down the line. I ignored her. I thought that she was too rowdy to play with anyways. A few seconds later I heard "EWW!" I looked over to where the voice came from. It was from that girl and she was staring at me D': And then she started making ugly faces at me. Like really ugly faces. Many of you know that I'm always the one making a face at kids. I like to scare them behind their parents' back. But they're supposed to know their place. WHAT IS THIS?!?! I made a face back at her. She kept making faces at me still.... even more intense now. I was like WTF?!?! As in Why The Face?!?! (lol) I thought about gesturing something threatening to her. But her mom turned around. ARGH! I wanted to scare her soooo bad! But too many people watching already because of the noise she was causing earlier D:<