"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" - Matthew 26: 41
Basically, if you're not watchful you're screwed.
A few weeks ago at Sunday School, we were talking about watchfulness and why we really need to know our weaknesses. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." - 1 Peter 5: 8-9'
I was not watchful about a week ago and fell right for it. The interesting thing was that it didn't end after I fell for it. What happen was I kept ruminating on what I did. I think the feelings and thoughts were much worse than what I actually did (not that the action was insignificant). I felt so horrible that whole day I wanted to cover my face... so shameful, full of guilt... I was absolutely disgusted at myself... couldn't even stand looking at myself in the mirror. There were also a lot of nasty words thrown at me =(
But thank God for His grace and mercy! He stopped me from thinking about these things but to give thanks and praise Him for the ultimate sacrifice on the cross and to repent immediately. He also reminded me of our walk together and how far we've gone together. I completely forgot how much I am worth to Him who gives life! Those nasty words faded as I start to remember that only His words matters.
And then, the Sunday School material made sense. There are 3 enemies: The Devil (quick attack/ manipulation), the World (subtle manipulation), and the Self (sinful nature/ manipulation from within). There were subtle build up from time to time. I think I felt a bit lonely, tired, lazy that day and the Devil came in for the kill... he was waiting. The nasty judgments I throw at myself kept me from seeing God's glory. If you really think about how all that worked together, it's actually quite frightening.
Friends, know your weaknesses well, know what you should/ should not do, and know where you should not go. Be on your guard at all times! Stand firm in faith! The enemy is a sneaky one and you have a weak body. So be watchful at all times!
