I gave in today...

I gave in and bought a pack of five just now.
I was free from it this whole term.
I was CLEAN!
I craved it sooo much that I bought the pack at a more expensive price.
I gave in to the oh so delicious taste of spicy instant noodle.

Nifty Nifty Look Who's 50!

For a while now I have been looking and watching how the older crowd/ middle age group interact with each other and deal with things. Not to sound creepy or anything lol but watching them and listening to the things they say is actually really interesting. Seriously, just watch how the couples who are married for 20+ years talk and such. They are so comfortable in each other's presence and in the presence of other people. It's really cool!

On the less creepier note, one of the courses I took this term is Lifespan Process. The course looks at how people change and develop over time socially and psychologically from childhood to old age. it also looks at how in general people deal with stressors and difficulties in life. And from what I learned in the course is that people who are in their 50's have more success in dealing with life's difficulties compared to adolescence and young adults. According to research, those in their 50's are more confident in their self identity, knows their limitations and weaknesses, tends volunteer and help out more, and tends to think more seriously about what they should do with the time they have left. Most of it is because of the experience, achievement/ success, and resources they accumulated over the years. This all sounds so amazing and exciting! But keep in mind that all of this also depends on a lot of uncontrollable external factors.

However, watching this season's Survivor made me think even more about and reaffirmed the things I learned about the middle age. If you don't already know this, this season, they divided up the team according to people's age and did a old vs. young thing. Anyways, they merged now and there are three older people left. But as you watch, the two older women (Jane[56] and Holly [44])are actually the strongest players in the entire game. Lol Jane actually beat all the youngest and strongest guys in a lot of the individual challenges, endurance challenges. Many of the things I learned about middle age people in the course are found in Jane in Holly. The thing about them is that they are so comfortable and confident in their skin that they'll go the extra mile to help their teammates even though they are their competition (well of course there's $1million involved lol) But still, on many occasions, they just suck it up and treat things like they're a piece of cake while all the younger people whine, moan, complain, and be reckless, stupid, and selfish. I really hope one of ladies wins. =D

So why am I writing about this? I'm just pretty impressed by the things that our parents and other older people do. And I can't wait till I'm a nifty 50 year old ;P I really can't wait =D

Psalm 13

¹ How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.

Rocking the Woods out of Rockwood!

My lovely Jen and Kayla and I went back to Camp Brebeuf to visit our friends/ family away from home yesterday. It was a lot of funn and crazy laughs like before. It was such a refreshing time because even though we haven't spoken to or had much contact with everyone, we were able to pick up where we left off from last year. It was just so natural being with everyone again.

It almost felt like I didn't leave the camp at all because it was all so familiar. I was sooo excited to be back there, even for only a little bit. We went to Curwins Pub after dinner. Lol it was 7pm when we got there. We are such rebels >=) Curwins is nice. It's so clean and quiet. The seven of us pretty much ran the place last night lol.

It was a lot of funn too because two random guys walked in with their guitars and asked if anyone played. One of my co-workers played so they just started jamming. It was just so cool and they played pretty well. Some of the songs they sang were pretty funny too so we all had a good laugh.

I never knew how much I missed camp and the people until I went back to see them. I love you all very very much =)

Outreach

MW and I were in DC cafe the past Thursday looking for people to talk to about Jesus Christ. We bought some food so we can sit down with whoever and chat with them while eating. A girl came and was about to sit down behind us but we asked her to come over and sit with us. She said sure with a smile on her face and came over.

We had a pretty good conversation to start and talked about random things about school. I think we both started to get nervous because we weren't getting to the Gospel. And also because we never got to the point with the guy we were talking to right before.

JL walked by and stopped by our table. He was wearing that black sweater with a short reference to a Bible verse (1 Cor 9:24) Lol so we awkwardly brought it up by asking JL (it was actually MW who pointed it out, I just refuse to believe that I'm awkward [sometimes]) Lol.

Anyways we finally got to Jesus. She said she was an atheist but she has a habit of reading random articles about religion. She was quite open to what we had to say and asked us some personal questions about our faith and our experience of God. We shared our testimonies and the first time we were encountered by God. After I finished my testimony, she smiled with her mouth open almost like she was in amazement. I have no idea what was actually going on in her head but I knew what was in mine.

After we left I started thinking about the time when I first met God and knew that He is real. Yes the purpose of that incident was for me to know that God really do exist. But who knew?! Who knew that almost 10 years later that the purpose of that specific incident was for that girl to hear! Who knew!?!? God has some pretty crazy planning going on hahaha =D

Lay Ho Fahn Ahh!

Satan! You are so annoying!!! Like seriously! ARGH!

Yee fahn do bay ah dye lo ><"

Can't wait till that day you totally get owned by Jesus!

And we'll all say "Well well well... Look how the turn table!"

reminiscence

For some reason, today feels like one of those days in 1B... March-ish. The temperature, the colour of the sky, the sun, the ice-cream... they all make me want to go for an aimless walk. I sort of know where I want to go, but it's just too far hahaha. So I left class early to sit outside slc and ate ice-cream for a bit then went home. Haha! I can't believe that the first time I did that was TWO YEARS AGO!

Old Chats

I searched "position paper" in my email account trying to see if I saved a copy of my (very last minute) assignment there already. Surprisingly, a very old gchat conversation came back and it had nothing to do with position papers ==" I briefly read through it and found an interesting quote my friend shared with me:

"God does not search around to find you a mate that's compatable, more than likely he's going to search around and find you a mate that's totally incompatible with you. Why? He's going to give you a mate that's strong in all the areas where they must be strong so that you may not be tempted beyond what you can bear. But he's also going to give you a mate who fails in some of the areas where you most do not want them to fail so that you become like Jesus. And what does that mean? It's so that you learn to love someone unconditionally who doesn't meet the conditions."

Kind of an interesting quote... I think this means that my husband will be a fat short man who can't stand me. bwahahaa... I'm kidding... though I hope not =="

Thanksgiving Dinner

I got back to TO on Friday of the Thanksgiving weekend. I took the Fedbus and got dropped off at York Mills to wait for my friend and sister to come pick me up for fellowship dinner. I waited at the station for ~1 hour or so and I've been watching this man walk up and down Yonge Street for ~1 hour (I know I can be such a creeper sometimes haha).

At first I thought it was deja vu or something because I thought I saw the man walk up the street already, how can he be back walking by me again? Turns out, he goes up to the intersection to wait for the lights to change to cross the street and stand in front of all the cars for 2 sec and walks up the lane with a piece of cardboard in his hands and ends up back on the same sidewalk and walks up to the intersection to wait for the light change to do the same thing again.

He must have done that at least 30+ times during the 1 hour I was there. I'm pretty sure he was doing that before I got there and was still there when I left. It was very interesting to watch because there were so many UW students around waiting for their ride home, random people walking on the street, so so many cars driving by. It seemed like no one saw him even though he was walking up to the cars. And occasionally, people would roll up their windows (I guess these people saw him)... just in case.

I tried to take a look at what was written on his piece of cardboard when he walks up the lanes, but I couldn't because most of the time, he was holding the cardboard upside down. But I was able to make out one of the words on his cardboard: "HOMELESS". That's when I knew something had to be done. I waited till my friend and sister got there to see what to do.

My sister and I decided to buy the man some food. I wish there were more options around but there weren't, so we just bought a sandwich and a bottle of juice from the gas station. I don't know how filling that sandwich was but that the "best" I could give him.

I handed him the items we bought and said "Jesus be with you". "Jesus be with you too" he said. In my head I was saying "well... He is, He's the one who told me to buy you this". hahaa I don't know. But was that enough? Was God's name and Gospel really proclaimed? Was the sandwich and juice enough to fill him up? I really don't know. I'm pretty sure we could have done way way more because for fellowship dinner, we were going to have LOBSTER! Lobster, potatoes, salad, salmon, and dessert.

So disgusting! Disgusting. Disgustingly delicious. D: Seriously, what the heck were we doing having a big dinner inside a nice warm home? Would the right thing be inviting the man to come have dinner with us and share with him? Lol I don't know how much the host would like that actually... but really! How was that even fellowship? The only time we prayed that night was right before dinner. All we did was eat, drink, and be merry (and watched "say yes to the dress").

I do thank the host for having us there and making us dinner. I'm really thankful for all the trouble (again) =D Dinner was delicious and I do appreciate the time it took to prepare such a big dinner for all of us. But it just didn't sit right... with me anyways.

[to be fair, I know not everyone knew what I saw so yea...]

Crucifying the Flesh

Just the same as the crucifixion (Jesus' death on the Cross), crucifying our flesh is slow, painful, and humiliating.

One of the messages heard at my church's summer retreat was about the crucifixion and how it applies to us today. I've been wanting to share about this since summer. I especially want to share about this is because I know it applies to everyone and it most definitely is something I'm going through right now.

I don't know how to quite express the experience except with the elegant use of these four words: IT'S SO FRIGGIN' HARD!

Yes, it is slow all because I am dealing with my sinful nature and sinful desires of my flesh. It is just soooo natural and I was born ready to sin, which is why it is such a long process.

Yes, it is painful all because every sin inside of me wants to push out and rebel against God. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that [I] do not do what [I] want (Galatians 5: 17).

Yes, it is humiliating all because what the Spirit does is not natural or common in a sinful world. It is the odd one out. That's right Jesus freaks!

So why do I still want this or why you would ever want this? All because there is power in the crucifixion. Not only was my sin and your sin nailed on the cross with Jesus, but He rose from the dead to overcome sin so that you and I are no longer slaves to our sinful nature, but have freedom in Christ as a new creation, born ready to live life by the Spirit (love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) to reflect God's glory.

His will be done,

Amen!

God the Healer of all things

It has been very tiring, saddening, and heart breaking when I think and reflect on what happened and what could have happened. So far I think in total I have "ruined" two friendships. I hope it's not more than that =S

One of them was during high school where a five year "friendship" was broken off. I'm not even sure if what my friend and I had was actually a friendship because we have never shared anything deep with each other. Also she was really hard to love and I actually didn't like her as much as people perceived. Yikes! Though we didn't really talk about meaningful things (ever!) but I know I was some sort of "home base"/ "safety net" for her when other people turn away from her.

I know that many people didn't like her, I didn't like her sometimes due to different reasons that should not be mentioned anymore. But at times I really didn't mind her... just like... whatever. I also didn't mind her because I was the "Christian" in my group of friends and it was the "right" thing to do. Was I ever a light to her? No. I honestly don't think so. I don't think I truly cared about her. Now that I think about it, I was barely a true follower of Christ! I was self- righteous, self-deceiving, and very blinded by my own sin and proud personality to see that I was just as sinful in God's eyes.

I occasionally stalk her on fb (lol. What? I thought we all do that =P) and from the looks of things on fb, I'm almost convinced that I am still the only claimed Christian she knew. And I'm pretty sure that the last impression of me wasn't Christ-like at all and I know that that further reinforced her perception of religious people she told me about years ago.

And recently hearing from a common friend, she still talks about it sometimes and is still very hurt by what happened. Be very careful when you claim to be a Christian. You never know if you are the last Christian they will see or even want to see.

The other friendship that was broken off was more recent. I'm not sure what to say about it. Though I do grief that it had to happen, but I don't believe that God would bring people into my life and then just take it away and have no meaning to it. I believe that it all serves a purpose. I'm just not there to see it yet. I also believe that God will bring my two friends and I back together at some point in our lives at the right time and place where you can see how it all fit together and go "Ohhhh! God, this is BRILLIANT!"

When I get upset about these things, I remember that God is the healer of my life and my friends' lives. He heals us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If God can change and heal me, a self-righteous, God-hating, and unloving sinner, He can definitely heal relationships.

:D

It's amazing how 1 tablet of ibuprofen with the combination of a cup of pumpkin spiced latte can change you from feeling emotionally and physically miserable to feeling giggly and wanting to LOL at everything in just 2 hours.

Clubs Day

I helped a bit on Friday before leaving to go to the slo-pitch game. Just within the 45min I was at the CCF booth, I spent about half the time in a conversation with someone who has a lot of questions about religion. It's pretty awesome how the other person know certain things about the Bible that I don't. I really like that because that showed me how much more I need to study the Bible and trust the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation. I'm not sure how "correct" my answers were because I'm always afraid that I'm "theologically" wrong. And the guy pointed out that I was repeating a lot of things with a very confused look on his face LOL. So basically, there's a whole lot more studying, prayer, discipline, practice, and obedience to do.

**Lol I can't get the guy's confused look out of my head --> bwahahaha and not really"

Melona

I almost forgot how good these cream popsicles taste. mmm thanks for eating one with me yesterday e-money :)

On the GO

At the beginning of Summer I've been going home to TO a lot and I've became quite familiar with the GO system. There was this time when I was waiting in line to get on the GO bus and I felt very strongly that I had to tell the man in front of me about Jesus...

I really didn't want to talk to anyone; I just wanted to lose myself quietly in a book. Usually after work, I'm really reluctant to speak or do things with anyone because I'm doing things and talking with people all day at work. But I really think that Jesus wanted me to talk to the man =="

The guy, AG, was with his two children. Him and I ended up sitting next to each other on the bus. I dived right into a book because I didn't want to talk. And as I was sitting there reading (not really... because I was thinking whether or not I should talk to him), he started to talk to me.

A: "You can read forever can't you."

M: "Yea... (crap I really have to talk to him now) This book is really interesting. It's about Christian living. Have you heard of Dr. John Piper?"

And so it begins... I asked him about his kids (they were so cute!) and where they were heading. He said he just picked them up from his ex-wife to spend the weekend together at his place at Port Credit. He started telling me about some of his personal things... about his divorce and how things are really hard and what happened between him and his ex. I was very surprised that he would share something this personal with a stranger. This confirmed to me all the more that this man needed Jesus in his life.

We touched on religious things. He believed that "if you find whatever it is that makes you strong, you should believe it. But [he] won't tell other people that they are wrong if it is something different from what [he] believed in." So I shared with him why I believe in Jesus and chose to walk as a Christian.

We got to Burlington and had to get on different trains to get to our own homes. He gave me his contact and out of instinct I gave him mine too. However, as I was writing mine down I really didn't think it was a good idea because I just met this person. But I already wrote half of my number down and it would look so "yurn suey" if I went... "umm actually...."

A few days passed and the guy called... And I assumed that he wanted to talk more about Christianity because we didn't finish the past Friday. I did plan to call the guy back after I prepare myself to talk to him about Jesus... but I wasn't ready so I didn't pick up. He left a message saying that he wanted to talk. He called me again the next day again. I had to gather myself for a few hours before I called him back.

I prayed with one of the girls I lived with to let God guide the conversation before I called him back. And I talked with another friend about the whole situation before I called because for some reason, things didn't seem so right. I called back and words flowed very smoothly out of my mouth. In a way I was surprised that they all came out so smoothly but at the same time I wasn't.

The conversation went on for about one hour. I had to redirect the conversation A LOT =S because turns out, the guy's intention was far from wanting to know more about Christianity. I did manage to share the Gospel with him, but he wanted to talk about something else... I offered to have my friends AE and HL talk to him or contact him instead because they lived closer to where he lived and would be more accessible.

I'm not very clear on what I make of this experience. I really did think that God drew me to talk to the guy when we were on the GO bus. But at the same time, the guy's intention was not what I had in mind. I really don't know. But all in all, I think I am way more comfortable with having the Gospel told even thought things were not as I expected than not tell him about Jesus at all. I can't imagine having the thought of letting the opportunity to share the Gospel go sit in my mind.

AE called him twice and left some messages, but he didn't return any calls.

Yea, so that's basically what happened.

Spreading the Word

The summer term was pretty amazing =) Doing things and all. Lol can I be more vague? Haha. Probably. Anyways, I think the past term was the term I really tried to push myself to share the Gospel. I definitely need a lot more practice and growing on my own as well, but yes, I really did try. It was alright, sometimes I wouldn't know what to do and then I would have that blank look on my face. I think if I saw myself I would actually lol at myself. hahaa.

Sharing the Gospel at the work was quite a touchy subject and it is discouraged (it's written in their policy =S ). Sometimes I would have to sneak around that so that I could talk to the patient one to one. I would try to incorporate it into the assessment part of work since I am supposed to know my patient (ie. knowing the patient's religious background). It was still a bit hard to talk to them about it in a way they would be able to understand because some (just some) had a lower IQ and may not necessarily know what I'm talking about at all.

There were other times when I just started talking to random strangers. I remember two particular incidents very clearly...

1) On the GO bus

2) At a coffee shop called "My Dog Joe"

The two men I talked with had some similarities in terms of the things they were and are still going through. Believes were quite similar as well... one believed that if you find whatever it is that make you strong, then you should believe it. The other was a Buddhist and believed in balance and agreed with everything I said. He agreed with everything I said because a lot of the things written in the Bible are similar to the Buddhist teachings according to him.

I'll write about how each conversation went later on. But telling people about the Gospel is so important. And many times Christians forget that the living Word of God can change the life of a person dramatically.

Money, money, money

For those of you who don't know, ABBA is one of my all time favourites. I really enjoy their music and which is why of course I really like Mamma Mia! I like to do exercise with my clients with their songs playing: Dancing Queen, Mamma Mia, Take a Chance on Me, and Money Money Money. It's easy. I know their beat. Their songs make me laugh as I exercise with my clients. And most of my clients know them since they are so famous.

I've been thinking about many things this summer. One of them is "Money". God truly blessed me financially this term. Well... it's expected as it is my 3rd work term since our pay is supposed to increase every term. But with the exception of my 2nd work term when I worked of a not-for-profit organization haha =="

Many of my friends went on a mission trip, are still in the middle of their trip, or are about to go. Many of them asked me to support them financially. But there were just too many people asking me to support them and I really couldn't decide who to support. Also, I would definitely rather support a couple so they can get a bigger piece of the pie than support many with a way smaller piece. I did pray about it and asked God who I should support. And honestly, it was no one specific. I did have one in the end... but I think it was because I spent all that time thinking about who to support that most of my friends already got what they needed to go.

I spoke to someone about giving what I stored up this term to that friend... and she didn't like the idea. It is a pretty big amount. However, I didn't put anything in offering at all this term. O_O So in the end it would still be the same if I spread it out over the months. She said I didn't have to give my friend that much because my friend will definitely receive some more from the church. Which is true... but I wasn't too comfortable with the reasoning behind not giving that amount: That I should save it for myself. Invest. School. Or if something comes up I can use that money. It really didn't sound right =S

I spoke to another friend of mine about what to do with the money. He reminded me that when I support others, I have to remind the person I'm supporting that it should be like a partnership kind of thing; That I should expect to hear stories about their trip when they come back as it is sort of like an investment. Since we are so blessed with money, we should definitely be careful on taking care of what God have given us.

In Piper's Don't Waste Your Life, those of us who are financially blessed should use what was given to us to help make other people glad in God. Such include supporting missionaries in their work oversea as they spread the Gospel. (he phrased it better than me of course lol) He made a pretty good point in his book. Not everyone are made to be missionaries or put in the "front lines" to serve the Lord oversea, but some are made to work behind the scene or back at home. What we are capable of making at home are to be used wisely; to give to the poor/ needy, offerings at church, and to support missionaries so that those who do not know God can come to know Him and be satisfied in Him in every aspect of life.

I thought about all of this again. It doesn't have to be just missionaries, it can also be relief funds for ie. Pakistan. I was watching the news or some talk show... I forget. The show put some figures up to compare how much is given to the people in need every time a disaster strikes. The trend that was displayed showed that fewer and fewer is given out each time. I think that fewer and fewer is given because natural disasters are just so common these days that people start to grow numb to the suffering faces of the world.

The world will grow more and more numb to these issues. But we who are Christ's followers should continue to do the work God assigned us; to take care of the widows, orphans, and the poor. And as we do the work, we must remember to do the work in faith.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" -Matthew 25:40

It's really funny and I'm slightly ashamed. As I'm typing this up, I remember back in the previous winter term that I commented/ complained that no one cared about [insert country's name] because the Canadian Hockey team was playing the States at the Olympics even though a disaster just hit that country. It's funny because I already forgot which country that was and what hit them. I already forgot! It has only been around 6 months or so. [Know what I'm getting at?!]

So what are we going to do with our money? Save it for school (darn tuition and books)? New wardrobe (I do want some new cardigans... and other things)? Invest and let the money grow in your account? Buy a house? A car? Newest iPhone? =O

What is right? What did Jesus asked us to do? After all, we're only here for a short time. But we'll have to spend our eternal life somewhere. They will have to spend their eternal life somewhere.

Money, money, money. Must be funny, in the rich man's world.

Money, money, money. Always sunny, in the rich man's world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0

Coming Soon...

I've been pretty busy at work. But now that work is all over and that I'm back in TO once again, I now have time to blog whoot whoot! =D Until I actually post all the things I would like to share, the following are the things I'll be writing about: Money, Talking with Strangers, Prayer, Work, and something else (I forget).

Bipolar Disorders

Abnormal Psychology---Barlow D. & Durand V.

"The key identifying feature of bipolar disorders is the tendency of manic episodes to alternate with major depressive episodes in an unending roller-coaster ride from peaks of elation to the depths of despair."

"Suicide is an all-too-common consequence of bipolar disorder, almost always occurring during depressive episodes...Estimates of suicide attempts in bipolar disorder range from an average of 17% for bipolar disorder I to 24% for bipolar disorder II... Even with treatment, patients with bipolar disorder tend to do poorly..."

What can you honestly do but look to God?

Sooo STressed Out D:

**deep breaths** .............ok **deep breaths again**

I am soo stressed out at work ='( Stressed with a capital T. LOL. I feel like my heart is skipping a few beats sometimes and breathing gets a bit hard O_O so stressed out.

I still enjoy work very very much though =) I had to be pretty independent in the past week b/c my boss is on vacation, so I was running programs on my own. Which is very fun btw. Other work like organizing baseball tournament is starting to get to me. It would be way easier if it was just one or the other.

Hahaha I can't wait till the baseball thing is over! Ok manman! You can do this! Just need to find out around how many ppl will show up and then order stuff...

...and then, I remembered that I have an outing to plan for this coming Friday =="... it's ok... it's ok...

...and then, I remembered that I forgot to rent/ borrow a movie to use on the unit... it's ok... it's ok...

...and then, I realized how little time I have.

Above all this, I just wanted to say:

BWAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHH)(&^%*$#$%@&*)(r*)&@(*$^(*&_*(@&^%$rfg.

and that God is still very good to me :) mmmmmhmmmm

Sunday School

The past Sunday School class teacher asked us a question and I'm sure that this question would be beneficial for everyone who goes to church as well...

If one day, all the people you became comfortable with, became friends with, built a community with at your current church/fellowship, all slowly moved away, would you still be as excited and enthusiastic about going to church, service, worship, and fellowship ?

hmmmmmmmm >:)

Forgiveness, the cement of community life

This was taken from Philpott Memorial Church's July 11th bulletin:

Community is not possible without the willingness to forgive one another "77 times" (Matt. 18:22). Forgiveness is the cement of community life. Forgiveness holds us together through good & bad times & it allows us to grow in mutual love.

But what is there to forgive or to ask forgiveness for? As people who have hearts that long for perfect love, we have to forgive one another for not being able to give or receive that perfect love in our everyday lives. Our many needs constantly interfere with our desire to be therefore the other unconditionally. Our love is always limited by spoken or unspoken conditions. What needs to be forgiven? We need to forgive one another for not being God! (from Bread For the Journey, A Daybook of Wisdom & Faith, Henri J. M. Nouwen, 1997)

Fine. ARGH! Oh dear... hahaha.

Weekend =D

I love weekends. I really do because I can make my mega breakfast (grill cheese, sausage, eggs, and coffee), sit down, eat it, and read the Bible at the same time. It's mmm mmm good.

It was a beautiful weekend in Hamilton. Hahaa this is only my 2nd weekend in Hamilton lol. I've been having the urge to go biking for the longest time. I just get very exhausted after work and have very little energy to go biking. But the past weekend was awesome!

The weather was perfect! Clear sky, nice breeze, smooth bike trails mmmm :) Makes me so happy hahaa. And of course, the company =D I really needed this. Haha such an adventurous day! I also went to Webster's Falls after service that afternoon. Such beautiful scenery :)

Climbing around the the foot of the waterfall made me feel like Pocahontas bwahaha! Like you know... that scene when she's like climbing around to check out John Smith. hahaha. LOL too bad there weren't any John Smith's there. That would have been a bonus! =P Anyways, we went back home to have a nice little bbq dinner. YUMMMS! And watched Planet Earth... watched animals eating each other as we ate animals.

Went to another church on Sunday. It was a nice little trip from home to dt...busing there and walking from the bus stop. Dt Hamilton is sooo quiet on Sunday's O_O Barely anyone was on the street. I think the few who were out were going to their churches.

After church I decided to go shopping at Lime Ridge and check things out. On my way to take the bus, I bumped into one of my clients. The client got d/c a few days before and I didn't say bye, but it was nice to see the client that day. Seeing the client made my heart really warm because I can see how happy the client is and how things are working out so well. I can't stop smiling now :)

Bought myself a few things at the mall. Things were pretty cheap and I got my pay... so why not? =P I must say... it was pretty satisfying. I wouldn't even let myself stop and ask if I really need this. I didn't want to break the streak. I wanted a small celebration and congratulate myself for making it this far =D

Bought some Harvey's to go and took it back to a friend's place and watched the World Cup. Since Spain took out Portugal and Germany, I naturally cheered for Netherlands (I even purposely bought an orange top that day just for that... and also b/c I don't have orange) Too bad Netherlands lost, but overall it was a good game. I kinda had a feeling that Spain would take it home. But tis all goods.

yea... it was good.

sigh...

been a while since i last painted...

i think i can start doing that again.

i bought a new brush :)

i'm going to paint some sort of flower...

been a while since i last listened to some of my favourite songs...

i think i can start listening to them again.

but i'll just start with a few at a time...

don't want to overwhelm myself.

Only if they knew

Hamilton oh Hamilton! How sketch art thou!

Not every part of Hamilton is sketch lol. There are some nicer places around =) However! The bus stop that I wait at everyday is right outside a porn shop... so I do see a lot of different people around. Sometimes I do move to wait at the next bus stop... but still... there are people who seem to be "high" around that corner.


Waiting waiting waiting. Thinking thinking thinking. Seeing how the women are dressed, how the men interact, the words they use, the look on their faces makes me think: Only if they knew God.

My purpose in this post isn't to judge other people, call them names and condemning them to hell. It is not. I simply want to say that only if they knew God, then they would know that there is so much more, that they themselves are worth so much more, and that life is so much more satisfying.

Yesterday, someone asked me if I would go on a ride with a hot guy on a nice motorcycle if he asked me to. Seriously? To be honest... I thought that was a dumb question. Who the heck would get on ride with a stranger? But I knew what the person meant. I think he was asking if I would take a good looking guy (I think). My answer was: "I'm too good for that!" (Just for laughs though)

But for reals, I am too good for that. Hahaha! If that's all the guy got, then yes, I am too good for that. I'm not being cocky/ snobby here. It's just very hard for me to respect men who have nothing inside. Screw the looks, the money, the nice car or whatever! I really don't care. I know that I am a daughter of God and that I have everything I ever need, ever imagine in Him. God fulfills all the things I lack. In fact, His giving overflows!

I really wish the women knew that they don't need to dress like that to get love; they're already loved! I wish the men knew that they don't need to get high in order to escape life; they're already free! They can actually have everything they need and they can actually get and keep it! But it seem as though it's a never ending chase and a never ending wait. I know that my ride will come and I don't have to scramble to make it come; it's not a never ending chase; not a never ending wait. (duhh... it says on the bus schedule lol)

Truth is: My Lord and God is coming back very soon.
Fact is: We can have satisfaction in this life in just knowing God.

I'm very very happy to know that God is here all along. It just breaks my heart when people don't and can't see God for who He really is and turn to worldly things instead. Not to say that I'm giving up on reaching out to others, it just saddens me to see hopelessness across their faces.

"...Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me..." Psalms 23:4

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

FIFA!!!

When I was sitting there watching a game last Monday, memories of the previous World Cup came floating around. I'm still into watching... just no one to watch with as often this time. Last time I watched with my friends from highschool and teachers hahaa. The principal bought a flat screen and placed it in the hall so everyone skipped class to watch the games! It was pdg.

This time I definitely feel older and more mature (SURPRISE!) More surprisingly, it was only 4 years ago when I was still very imature. Especially in the ways I see things and think about them. Last time I watched religiously so I can see more of Cristiano Ronaldo's sexy face =P

But that's not the point here ok? What I meant by more mature and seeing things differently is that my thoughts in general are more structured and not from nonsense. It's a pretty funny and happy feeling when I realized that as I sat there watching the game.

Ronaldo is sexy regardless (bwahahaa), but I find him less attractive this time hmmmm...

Let Love Speak

One very important thing that (I believe) many Christians (I know) forget to do is letting our actions speak. In the past, I've noticed that many of us use theology and reasoning to speak... louder and louder and louder and louder and louder. Literally.

I'm not saying that using theology and reasoning to explain something is wrong. If you know your theology well and know how to explain your thoughts, you are very much blessed my friend =) It's true. But there's a problem...

Many times when a small group of us try to explain something to a person within the group who may be new to Christianity or have a different interpretation, "discussion" starts. The reason I used "discussion" is because it doesn't always end up to be like what it started out as, a discussion. A lot of times it ends up with just two and most of the time just one person taking over the "discussion".

I really think that it is alright if people who know their stuff well to speak up if the discussion isn't going in the right direction. But what I have a problem with is the tone of voice people use to "redirect" the conversation.

What happens is that when people try to redirect the conversation, their volume gets louder and louder and louder and louder. So I'm sitting there thinking....hmmmm my dear brother/ sister, what you are saying is absolutely right, but person x sitting across the table from you will NOT listen to what you have to say, even if it makes sense. Why? Because it sounds like you're yelling at him/her!

A very important thing I learned from Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller is that "People will not listen to you unless they can feel that you love them."

In a more recent conversation I shared with a dear sister, a similar topic came about. We both have done some unloving things to those around us (ie. gossip, choice of words, tone of voice). Some things we mentioned weren't necessarily done purposely to hurt others, but because of (ie.) not wanting to share food/ dishes/ whatever it was, it came out through our body language. And the people who we were "sharing" with felt it. What happens now is that their perceptions of us are (/could be) stingy, hardarse, self-seeking, blablabla, and basically unloving.

We're not like that anymore. We may slip here and there at times, but our previous initial response is definitely not the same. It's a really good thing for us and we can't thank God enough for the transformation.

One bad thing though... the things we have done to others still lingers; their perception is still there. Not to say that people are unforgiving, but psychologically, it takes around 5 good comments to make up for 1 bad comment D:

So how does all this connect? Well... let's say there is a spiritual problem you see in a brother/ sister and it is very concerning, so you try to talk to them about it. BUT even though you now speak in love, they may disregard it because of what you may have done before. There's sort of a wall in between...

Well of course you still try right? And if there are anymore problems between you and the brother/ sister, it's better to settle the matter sooner than later.

But I think for now... if words are not listened to, it is better to let loving actions speak and to continually pray faithfully.

Ugly rips =="

In the past few years, I noticed that I can't rip toilet paper properly. So frustrating sometimes! Argh! Like I'm trying to make a perfect rip so I can fold it properly, but somehow, just SOMEHOW, I always rip off a bit or half of the next piece of toilet paper. So I would try to rip that half piece off so it looks more perfect, but I end up ripping a bit of the next piece off too! ARGH!

This also happens with paper towel and aluminum foil. It really bugs me! >=O

It's a Heart Problem

Not too long ago I was reflecting on my faith and was measuring how much I've changed. I did notice some changes. I guess it is a good thing. But as I started to think about the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, I got scared.

Yes, in many people's eyes I seem to be a very good Christian. If so, why is it that I don't have any real fruits on my tree? I'm not trying to be all "oh no, I suck...boohoo ='(" No. I was just wondering why I produced so few and maybe didn't produce any fruits after so many years.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Self-Control, Faithfulness, and Gentleness. Where are you all?

I noticed that they're not there is because when I try to act them out, it got very difficult and became a very frustrating matter for me. All these fruits should come naturally. But I had to make an effort every day only to fail miserably. I literally had to tell myself "I'm going to be nice today. I'm going to be nice today. I'm going to be nice today." I can probably last for a few hours and would find a reason to hate on people and be angry at them again.

Growing up at church, I've read Galatians 5 many many times. But honestly, I don't think I get it. So I did some research and listened to sermons specifically for this passage. One by John Piper did not focus on the Fruits, rather he focused on what is contrary to the Fruits; acts of the flesh.

Piper explains that the acts of the flesh does not mean the physical body, but of the heart. These acts stems from the heart; it is a heart problem. And the reason for this is because we feel that people owe us something. Piper used jealousy as an example. We feel jealousy towards other people only because we feel we are deserving of something (i.e. a promotion) or that we have earned the right to that something but that something is given to other people instead.

Fact is, we came with nothing. Even this air I'm breathing right now is borrowed from God. If we're going to talk about owing people, we are the ones who owe God.

Anyways, I thought it was a nice thing that Campus Challenge was focusing a bit on Faith and Works and Dead Works (The topic was very timely for me). I've always thought that I should be doing these works because I should and because the Bible says so. But that shouldn't be the case. Works should be done naturally as a response to God's love and grace which results in a changed heart. Works should also be done so that God's glory, grace, and power can be revealed to those who have yet to see and have yet to understand.

We should always remember that our purpose is to worship God and making much of Him.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31

Java Chip FrappAINO =D

Starbucks's frappuccinos were 1/2 price last weekend between 3-5pm. I really really wanted one on Saturday but didn't have enough time. So I thought I would somehow go get one the next day. I wanted to get one on my way to Union, but that means I have to exit the subway and pay again for entry...which totally defeats the purpose of paying 1/2 price for this awesome sauce frap (the ttc now cost $3). I decided to walk aimlessly (I don't know downtown well enough to know where Starbucks are located)to find a Starbucks with all my heavy heavy luggages instead of paying the sucky TTC another $3. HAHAHA! My grande java chip frap w/ whipped cream came to a total of $2.33. SUCK ON THAT TTC!

Btw, the TTC broke down on my way to downtown. Which really sucked because the Jay's game just ended...ppl were quite angry O_O